


Fade Away

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Homophobia, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani is an Incurable Romantic, M/M, Men Crying, Nightmares, Past Character Death, Temporary Character Death, but like ya know, discussion of hanging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25453123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: Nicky wakes with a nightmare of something long past.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 38
Kudos: 624





	Fade Away

**Author's Note:**

> listen you guys, if you follow me on tumblr then you know how much i love this movie so honestly is it that out of character for me to write a fic like this? not really. 
> 
> TW: description of hanging

Nicky wakes up with a strangled gasp, his hand moving instinctively to his throat. He can still feel the thick rope around it. He gasps for breath, but can’t seem to take in any air. He wheezes loudly as he struggles to breathe. Within seconds Joe is awake and pulling him into his arms. Nicky casts his eyes across the room and sees Andy sitting up in bed and Nile running across the room to the light switch. 

As warm golden light brightens the room, Nicky looks at Joe with wide, terrified eyes. 

“You’re alright, my love,” Joe says gently, one hand on his cheek. “You need to breathe, it was just a nightmare. You’re alright.” Nicky nods. He knows that he knows it was just a dream, but it still feels so real. Joe wraps him into a tight hug as he closes his eyes and tries to focus on his breathing, one hand still around his neck, struggling against an invisible rope. He can feel Andy and Nile watching him with concern, but Joe forces him to focus as he helps him breathe slowly and calm down. 

Nicky presses his nose against Joe’s pulse point and focuses only on that and his lover’s arms holding him close. Joe softly encourages him to keep breathing, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Eventually, Nicky looks up at Joe and gives him a shaky smile to let him know that he’s okay.

Joe gently pulls Nicky’s hand away from his throat, “There’s nothing there, love,” Joe says gently. He runs his thumb across Nicky’s delicate skin, “See? We’re okay. We’re in Paris.” Nicky nods.

Nicky hears Andy tell Nile to get a glass of water from the kitchen as Joe runs his hand through his hair. He keeps his eyes closed, his back towards Andy and the bed Nile just vacated. 

“1854?” Andy asks quietly. Nicky feels Joe nod and she makes a sympathetic noise. Nicky smiles faintly, Joe knows him so well he knew what he was panicking about without Nicky ever having to say it aloud. 

“Here.” Nile comes back a moment later and presses a glass of water into Joe’s hand. Nicky sits up a little and sips the water, nodding his thanks to Nile who sits down on Andy’s bed. 

“What happened in 1854?” Nile asks gently. 

“Shh…” Joe says as Nicky snuggles back into his arms, eyes squeezed shut. “It’s alright, amore.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” Nile apologizes. “We don’t have to talk about it.” 

“You can tell her.” Nicky’s voice is quiet as he speaks up for the first time since he woke up.

“Okay.” The smile Joe gives him is so full of love and care that Nicky can’t help but match it. “But lay down, Nicolo, try to go back to sleep.” Nicky does as Joe asks and pillows his head on his lover’s thigh, one of Joe’s hands instinctively moving through his hair. 

Joe sighs, scratching Nicky’s head. “A long time ago, Nicky and I were living on our own in America. We were taking a break from the rest of the group and we wanted to pretend that we were normal at least for a little bit.” Joe smiles faintly, but it vanishes quickly as he keeps talking. “But somehow someone found out about us, our love, and in the middle of the night we were dragged out of bed and thrown into jail cells.” Nicky feels Joe run his thumb along his cheekbone. “They didn’t let us see each other for a week. And I-I could hear him screaming and I knew they were hurting him, but I was too weak to fight them off.” Joe takes a deep breath and Nicky squeezes his leg in reassurance. 

He remembers being beaten over and over again, his injuries not even having time enough to heal and he remembers hearing Joe shout his name over and over again, he remembers biting his lip so hard that it bled to make sure Joe didn’t hear him in so much pain.

“After a week had passed, they had decided on a sentence, hanging in the middle of the square for ‘crimes against nature’,” Joe spits those words. “I saw him on the gallows and he looked so frail and hurt and I was so scared because I didn’t know if he would be able to come back. Being starved and dehydrated makes it harder to heal.” Joe shakes his head. “They put bags over our heads and hung us. Both of us healed slowly, but we couldn’t let them see any sign that we were alive. We died over and over again while we waited for the noose to be cut. But it wasn’t. We stayed there until well into the night when Andy finally came and saved us.” 

Tears leak from Nicky’s eyes, creating a wet spot on Joe’s leg, he doesn’t seem to mind, just wipes them away. Joe speaks the next words looking down at Nicky, “I had to carry Nicky to the boat because he was too weak to walk and he was healing too slowly.” Joe holds Nicky closer at that, they both remember the hours and hours they spent holding each other in the days that followed, both too afraid to stray too far from the other. “Nicky couldn’t talk for three weeks. We didn’t know what it was at the time maybe a bug or perhaps he didn’t heal all the way but it wasn’t until recently that we learned it was-”

“A PTSD response,” Nile cuts in, nodding in understanding. “Sorry, I saw a lot of that in the military.” 

“It still happens sometimes,” Nicky says softly. “But that was the worst one.” 

“Did the nightmares get better?” Nile asks. She draws her legs to her chest, looking young. 

“In time they lose frequency,” Nicky tells her, “but there are some things that have a funny way of sticking with you.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Nile reaches out and squeezes Nicky’s arm as she climbs into her bed. Andy lightly ruffles his hair with a warm smile. 

“Get some sleep,” Andy tells the two of them and she clicks the light off. 

Nicky feels Joe settle down behind him, pulling him flush against his chest. Joe presses a few kisses against his shoulders and the back of his neck before settling with his nose pressed against the nape of Nicky’s neck. “I’ll be right here, my love. Try to get some rest.” Joe’s voice is quiet. 

Nicky raises one of Joe’s hands to his mouth and presses a kiss to it. He lets his eyes fall closed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr- @romeoandjulietyouwish


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